The Awkward Boob Brush

To those of you out there who are not as well-endowed as myself (or Haley!), I'm going to let you in on a little secret: Big boobs are awkward. They bounce when you run, they make buttons scream mercy, and they often induce comments such as "You have very nice eyes" from old men. But those all pale in comparison to what happened to me yesterday. I will call this BoobGate. 

This occurred around 2 pm yesterday when I was busy "studying"/blogging/resisting the urge to color in El Table. I really wanted another cup of tea, but two people were keeping me from achieving this dream. I pulled together all my CT-etiquette and said, "Excuse me." The first person, a woman, moved out of the way with a smile. (FYI she will be my favorite of the two) 

Now, the second person, a man, nodded and moved forward about .2 cm.

"Okay, Claire," I said to myself, "No big! You can DO this! You can smell that Irish breakfast tea!"

Seeing as I am very convincing, I decided to go for it. I slid by this man without an issue...that is until my boobs decided they were being neglected. They decided to grow 200% in 2 seconds and dragged across his back as I tried to slide by. ACROSS. HIS. BACK.

"Well excu-USE me!" He said, his voice going up as he realized that it wasn't a hand or a small black bear sliding across his back. 

I now have seen that same man about 8 times since BoobGate. And everytime I do, I happen to become very absorbed in my school work. Academics are, after all, my priority.