The Starbucks Family

Now to be sure, my hometown is a great deal like Wellesley. It's actually creepy how many stores we have in common, and how the teenagers drink enough alcohol to make Mel Gibson blush. BUT there is one thing that separates the two in my mind: the Starbucks Family.

No, this isn't a clever marketing ploy. No, there are not small figurines of families overindulging in frappuccinos and rainbow cookies (SO DELICIOUS). This is a movement within the customer-base itself.

(Mother enters with two children)
Mother: What do you want?
Daughter: GARBLEGARBLEGRUMBLE MUFFINS GARBLEDROOLEVERYWHERE
Androgenous Toddler: alkfjel;fjka;olfjae
Mother: Oatmeal? You want Oatmeal?
A.T.: aeo;flkjew;lfdrooleverywhere

Keep in mind, she is screaming this to her children because yelling at them makes them hear good. And the din in the place is similar to a mausoleum. But yelling builds character and a strong immune system.

When did people start feeding their children at starbucks? What happened to Frosted Flakes? L'eggo my eggos? Scrambled eggs? Dinosaur oatmeal? (Which I have yet to try but a girl can dream *sigh*).

Before you know it, mothers will bring their children to Starbucks to spend quality time with them. Oh wait...they do. I call it "Nanny-free Sundays". My favorite day of the week to people watch. Nanny's day off means mommy and daddy have to spend quality time with the kiddos. A bonding experience if you will. What else should the parent-child bond consist of than high-caffeinated/sugar-saturated beverages? It's like Mommy and Me 2.0. But Jittery & Sugar-high.

In conclusion, I'd like to think people have houses for a reason. Starbucks is not an extension of your kitchen, nor your playroom. Even I don't do my coloring there, and I color quite a lot.

To the mothers of the world: Keep your screaming daughters and androgenous toddlers in the house until at least after naptime. And good luck when your kid is at their overpriced psychologist with detachment issues and a caffeine addiction.